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REASSIGNMENT
When I was young
I dreamt I could fly
Headfirst down the staircase
Just didn't know why
Maybe I'm dodo
Reincarnate.
Or Gipsy Moth pilot
Opened too late
By breakfast time it all seemed fine
I had my arms not wings
My human lips and human hips
My human voice that sings
I'm glad to be, comfortably me
Don't hanker a lot for something i'm not
I met an old bloke who told me a joke
Of a guy who was changed to a toad
Saw nothin wrong in
Appeasing the longing
To try the amphibious mode
I wanna be, something more free
Maybe grow feathers
That work in all weathers
Found a good surgeon
In need of some cash.
Said “That's a challenge
I'll give it a bash.
Cut and I'll paste bits
Then, strictly speaking,
Need to rewire you
Sub-
Beaks, wings and feathers
Part of the deal.
Fancied some extras
To make it more real.
Chose from the menu
A hole to lay eggs,
Ospreyesque talons
Attached to the legs.
I'm full of glee, at the thought of a me
Fly so high, up to the sky
Twiddly dee, twiddly dee
Yipeedeedee, Yipeedeedee
Twiddly dee, shiny new me
So happy, that is me
After the first phase
I woke with a fright
Conk on my face
Horrible sight.
Where I had teeth
Now bloody great gaps
Had no control of the
Pecks or the flaps.
Met a strange creature
Half man half bee
Pesticide residue casualty.
A few other folk
Gone top of the list
Heart ops and transplants
Cannot be missed.
Can't let you bedlock
They'll move you down stairs
Vertical stacking
Is one of their flairs.
Trolley queue backing
Vertical stacking
Trolley queue backing
Vertical stacking
Down on the wards
No hospital beds
Just ivy clad branches
To perch on instead.
The doc she ain't said how
How it works in my head
Or how I get flying
With bones made of lead.
No therapy sessions
To cope with the trauma
Of playing guitar as
Fingerless fauna.
No avian hormones
To help me digest
That crazy new food
I bring back to the nest.
I wanna be, how I used to be
Feeling myself just like the old me.
I wonder, who’s got my nut sack
Who’s got my arms, who's got my back.
When you hear a tooth fairy
Be a little more wary.
I wanna be, something like me
Something like me, something not me.
© MOTH 2017
So we already have the option of gender reassignment.
Here’s a thought for those fauna-
LIT NOTES FOR THE PEDANTIC
The index events for traumatic, recurring dreams are sometimes hard to identify. Where no logical explanation exists some say they are the remnant of the final moments of your previous life.
A Gipsy Moth was a small airplane from the early C20. You’d need to be in the correct variant to get out of the thing easily with a parachute. You’d also need to be at sufficient altitude or the chute would open too late or not at all.
A conk is a nose that is beak-
“Bones made of lead” isn’t literal but refers to the relative density between human bones and lightweight avian bones. You’d need to change the bones as well or make other power/weight ratio savings in order to get airborne.
Digestive enzymes are triggered by hormones that need to be chosen correctly.
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