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A selection of topical offerings to help alleviate the election nonsense. The only certain thing is that a Tory vote is a vote for a continuation of the pointless badger genocide.

“Boris” is a parody based on the song “Alice”. It depicts the return of Alice who was actually Achlys in disguise.


Lyrics and more here

DOMHWELUS - “BORIS”

Among the novelty boiled sweets and other offerings at the tourist gift shop you might find some lollies shaped like Boris. So peel back the wrapper and suck on your very own Johnson.


Lyrics and more here

DOMHWELUS - “SUCK”

So if politics seems like a load of old wank then you’re not far off the mark and you’re not alone. They have had three years to conjour up the deals for the Torygarcs and the razor wire manufacturers yet it’s still not dusted. So they pad out the news with reports of Trump’s latest exploits and latest irrelevant thoughts on the subject like the Brits really need more advice on something that isn’t actually anything. The Brexit referendum was a vote for an idea based on false promises and and not a vote for an outcome. Like agreeing to marry the warty toad before you’ve actually met the nutter or been on the first blind date. Boris stood in front of that banner and is a LIAR. Now that liar is prime minister. And so on…


Lyrics and more here

DOMHWELUS - “YANK NEWS”

SO IF ALL THAT SEEMS RATHER CHILDISH…


While all this election waste of time goes on, more badgers are shot every day and Boris prefers to flitter the weeks away with campaigning for votes. Again he has wriggled out of engaging in useful, progressive stuff. He could be sat there for four weeks staying off the wine and getting his head around the RBCT reports and other erroneously concluded publications so that he can direct NatEng/DEFRA/APHA to at least reply intelligently to enquiries from the general public. So spoligotype 0263 is still at large and Boris doesn’t know why. The culling trials  were akin to studying diesel engine combustion by pouring diesel fuel on a bonfire with a watering can and then measuring the thickness of charring on the surface of the barbecued Linda McCartney sausages.


Lyrics and more here

DOMHWELUS - “HITCHIN A RIDE”

SO IF ALL THAT SEEMS RATHER SERIOUS…..


When working in the Close To The Edge festival kitchen we used to sing a version of the Herring Song with some extra silly verses. Here’s the 2019 parody loosely based on the traditional version. It is a reflection of some elements of the post-brexit prophecy and other shortcomings.



What do you do with a Tory’s arse?

Turn it into a border pass


And that sort of thing.


Lyrics and more here

DOMHWELUS - “THE TORY SONG”

Stop/pause before selecting the next.

Best at ½ volume on screen player,

 then turn up your device’s volume..

We get too much of the “Me, me, me” demands from the selfish human race whilst the badgers get no vote.


And now the fools are debating compensation for flood victims. Some say that the floods are partly driven by human-induced climate change. Berty Blob reckons that any flood victims who took a flight during the last 10 years should be deemed ineligible for assistance because it’s their own bloody fault. Hopefully that will make people think about Mr and Mrs Ug living humbly on their semi-submerged, tropical island who, like the badgers, have no say in the matter whatsoever.